i can't speak for anyone else in my family, but i become a bear in July. if i could hibernate, i probably would. my emotions run high and all over the place. i can be grumpy to those around me (especially those closest to me - as Daniel can attest), even so far as to outright growl.
it's not even because it's so dang hot outside.
it's because the memories of July four years ago come flooding back to me. i'm sure many people think that 4 years is a long time ago - much too long to continue to grieve. however, the pain of the loss of a loved one (for me, my brother) doesn't diminish. you don't just "get over" the loss. in fact, in my opinion, it has hurt more as i consider what he has missed from our lives.
now, i realize he is with Jesus, and deep down i would not want it any other way. but in my selfishness, i want him here. i want to continue to grow up alongside him. to share in his joys and his hurts. i want my big brother back. that's not a hope that you "get over". ever.
coming from my experience, i'd ask of you this. show love to others. walk beside those weary in spirit. lift them up that they might learn to walk again. carry them if you have to. show them that they are not alone. there are so many hurting people out there. many who have lost loved ones. lost hope. lost themselves. help them find Jesus. because it is only in Him that they will find peace and in that peace, they will find hope and restoration.
it is in that hope, that i've found through Jesus, that i know without a doubt that i will see my brother again someday. am i still sad? yeah, sometimes i am. especially in July. so, i'm sorry if i am a bear to you. i really don't mean it. it's just... July.
take care of you for me.
