i hate diabetes...

so much going on, i don't know where to start. dan's birthday is this sunday! :) last weekend we had a baby shower for brandy. i'm leaving next friday for north carolina with the bradys. which means christmas is next thursday!! a week from today!! wow! i'm basically done with shopping. i still need just a few more things, though.

i realized lately how poorly i've been caring for my diabetes. i'm kinda just tired of it, but i know i can't just wish it away. been working hard to exercise even more each day and eating better. back to really counting carbs and stuff. it's always hard when people around you aren't doing the same. don't get me wrong, i'm happy with the weight that i've lost, but... i know i need to keep losing if i want to get healthy.

i think that's what's been stressing me out most, lately. i was having issues with my sugar spiking and then dropping so low that i could barely function. i know that's how you get long-term damage and i need to stop that from happening. so, i've had to get much stricter with my food intake. especially this time of year, with christmas cookies so readily available. and i know i can have one. but i need to keep it at just that - one.

been keeping up with youth goup planning, wedding planning... have a youth retreat next month. nothing much new on the wedding planning lately, just still "dreaming" up stuff that i like... i didn't realize how many decisions were involved in all this. haha no, it's been good, though. i can't wait to have both of our families together to celebrate. :) i love this man so much. <3

we've been doing a "secret sister" thing at church! it's so fun! :) it's like secret santa but it's only ladies in the church, and it goes all year long. of course, i can't tell you who i have (duh, it's a secret), but it's so fun to do.

so, that's about all for now, just figured i'd update, especially now that i'm not in such a funk (probably due to a lack of christmas cookies...)


take care of you for me.

*sigh*

so, i feel as if i should post a new blog... it's been a while. i just kinda feel 'blah' lately, though. i want to write happy things, but i just don't feel like it. i'm almost done with Christmas shopping... youth group has been going okay. brandy and craig are coming up this weekend. :)

maybe that will cheer me up... to see some family.

*sigh* i just don't know.

i know i could list a bunch of things that are getting me down, but i can't imagine that that's all there is to it... a lot of little things bothering me. maybe that is it. every little stress of everything piling up. no wonder my shoulders hurt. that's a big load to lug around. anyway, maybe by the next blog i'll be out of this funk.


take care of you for me.

a word of caution...

so, i got in my car after youth group tonight to come home. my windshield wasn't quite clear - not smudgy, but... spotty, y'know what i mean? the logical thing to do is spray some washer fluid and wipe it away. until it didn't get clearer. it actually started looking more smudgy at first. then i realized it was turning to ice before my eyes. no, really, right in front of my face. it was only then that i looked down and saw the temperature was only 27 degrees (this was around 945)!

while it looked kinda cool actually, i wouldn't suggest it. i had to sit and wait for the defrost to melt it all before i could see enough to drive. i should have figured... it's winter after all!

so, that's it for tonight. youth group was good. i do love those kids. i'm just torn about next summer's mission trip. i love to do mission work (hence the degree), but it's to west virginia... :( i'm sure they're nice people there... but, i already voted them out of the union. so, it's like an international trip, i guess... but, we'll see if that's where God's leading me. i know i'll be kinda busy next summer... something on the calendar for the beginning of august, i think... ;)

take care of you for me.

workin hard

i've come to a conclusion lately. i need to show God that i can be faithful in the little things. every job i have applied for has fallen through. when i push for a job, i get fired. when i don't, i just plain don't get an interview. except for one job. i was hired as the youth leader at church. i know God has brought me to this. He has now made it clear to me that this is where He wants me - not out working somewhere else. at least for the time being. maybe something else will come along soon, but right now my job is as youth leader and i need to be faithful and work diligently at what He has led me to.

and, boy... does that include mistakes. just made a big one and i had to learn from it. *whew* but, there is forgiveness and now i know how to handle situations that might arise. the important thing is to keep a teachable attitude. keep in mind that God puts others in your path who know what they're doing and what they're talking about and allow them to direct you. He has placed so many good, Christian men and women in my life to help teach me and encourage me as i strive to do His will. what a great God! :)


take care of you for me.

cold! (both kinds!)

i'm not ready for the snow. it's too cold out. it's around 28 degrees here. i'd like the snow a whole lot more if it didn't have to be so cold to have it. i know, i know, i'm living in the wrong state. dan and i will just have to take a vacation every winter... this winter we'll be going with his parents to visit his grandma in NC for a few days after Christmas. i hope it'll be warm out down there. not holding my breath because that will be the weekend they have a freak snow storm or something down there. haha.

i'm already feeling the effects of the weather change. i think i'm getting a cold! :( i'm hoping it passes quickly. i mean, c'mon, i've been taking my vitamins and stuff!

and we've got a retreat this weekend! up at the highlands. it's going to be cold, so i hope i'm not sick for it.

been working on some wedding stuff. save the date cards and like that. :) should be good. and dan and i have been working on a playlist for the reception and stuff. so, if you think of any good ones, let me know. we won't be having the chicken dance, the macarena, or the hokey pokey... just so ya know. i think everyone will be pleasantly surprised with what we do have, though... :) dan and i have a surprise! i'm sooo excited and i want to tell you, but.... i can't! come and be amazed!

okay, so that's about it for now... gotta go get me some decongestant...


take care of you for me

it just comes natural... I LOVE YOU! <3

(ps that song "it just comes natural" by george strait just came on as i went to put a title on this blog... :) and it's so true. it's what i was born to do, it's so easy loving him.... )

i just want to say how much i love dan brady. he is that 'perfect' one, meant just for me, and when i stop and think about it, i can't get over how much he loves me! he's everything i could have possibly wanted in a man and more.

you can't look at how everything came together with us and not realize how wonderfully orchestrated it all was. it points to no one but God himself. i know neither of us would have fathomed such an idea had it not actually happened with us.

moving from belvidere... living in whitehall... the whole stupid lawsuit... the 'perfect' house that ended our long search.... every past rejection from ex-boyfriends... going to praise band practice to talk to someone about a job... but meeting the man of my dreams instead (still don't have a stupid job).

he makes me smile when i think of him, he brightens every day. he's as excited as i am to get married (he counts the days down!), he takes care of me and listens when i talk. he understands my needs before i even voice them. we finish each other's sentences and thoughts. he cuddles up with me and lets me fall asleep on his shoulder, he cries with me when i mourn for my brother. i think he tickles me just because it always ends in a hug, both of us laughing ridiculously. he prays with me and for me and he looks for ways to surprise me and to show his deep love for me. he cares about the things i care about - not because they are important to him, but because i am important to him.

i could not have found a man better suited to be the father of my future kids. <3

i can't wait to marry this man. i thank God for him everyday, because He's the only one who could possibly have known what i would need and when. what an awesome feeling, knowing that before we were born God had it in his plans for us to be together... what a great God we have. :)


take care of you for me.

kids masters youth group (haha)

so much going on lately. trying to plan the next few months: between youth group stuff, thanksgiving celebrations and christmas, too. with travelling required to see the family, it's a little more complicated anymore.

dan and i have a youth leaders' retreat coming up next month. i'm real excited for. not only is it a weekend out at westminster highlands, but we'll be hearing from other youth leaders, sharing ideas and whatnot. and, well... it's a weekend with dan at his favorite place on earth... it's sure to be a good time.

so, with everything with brandy having a baby dan and i started talking more about what we'd name our kids. i know, i know, it's early, we've got PLENTY of time... but it's still fun to talk about it. and we found 4 that we agree on, even. now, he's adamant that he wants 3, but i want 4... we'll just take however many God gives us. :) in any event here's the four names we came up with (they are, of course, subject to change at any time haha):

Calan Daniel (Cal like in California - scottish name - and daniel... well, my brother and my kids' daddy's name... )
Aric John (John after his grandpa, my great grandpa and my uncle... his dad has the same name, too, even tho he doesn't go by it)
Leila Katherine (Leila was my... great great aunt, i think and katherine was my great great grandma, also dan's mom's middle name)
Moriah Anne (the mountain Abraham sacrificed Isaac - just liked the name, and dan's grandma's name)

on a different note, dan and i have a couple halloween parties tonight. one at his friend ken's house and one at my aunt and uncle (rose and tom's) house. even though neither of us really like halloween, we figured we'd make an appearance at both to see friends and family. i'll let you know about our costume after we do it. don't want to give it all away... :)

save the date cards are coming along... started working on it more, i hope to do them next week. have to go to michaels for a few things, and walmart has the best price we've found for pictures... they're going to be so cute, i can't wait to get them done. :) then i can (FINALLY) cross it off my list of things to do! yay! i just keep transferring it from one list to the next... but not actually getting it done.

had a meeting at geneva about going back for my masters. i haven't technically applied yet, but that's what i'm going to do. go for a masters in family and marriage counseling. i recently did a spiritual gift/personality test (a pretty intense one, too. haha) and some of the results, while not surprising, were intriguing to me. my top 3 spiritual gifts were: 1. serving/ministry/helps 2. encouraging/exhorting and 3. mercy. a few things about my personality revealed i would be good at helping with hospital visits and bereavement... and the one profession that was clear through every aspect of the personality test was counseling. i think it's clear what i need to do. i've taken those before (none quite like this one) where counseling was always one of the top 3... sometimes the other two were nursing or teaching, but always had counseling in the midst. i guess i should have taken the hint and realized that's what God's been calling me to. well... now i'm doing it. i'm going to go for it and actually do it now. :) it's very exciting!

had 2 youth events so far... going to give the youth the wrong idea about youth group if we're not careful.. we have yet to have an actual meeting... just a bonfire and a tailgate party! this sunday will be our first real meeting. we'll see what happens. have had a good turn out for the first two events, so hopefully this will turn out well, too. :) they're great youth, i enjoy them a lot. they're so smart, and they're really on the right track with it Jesus. good times. the church is talking about mission trips for next year. i have just two issues with what they're discussing so far (tho, two big issues...) one. i'm getting married next year. don't know if we can go. depends when it is and such. two. three of the four trips they proposed are to go to WV. i hate west virginia and i have voted them out of the union. i have such bad memories there, and i don't know that i can spend a week there on a mission trip. we'll see what happens, though. i'm trying to be open minded about it, i'm just not sure how it will all work out. thankfully, it's not for me to work out. it's all in God's hands.

take care of you for me.

just randomness.

(that was just me practicing how to put a picture in a post... haha. and i love that one. that picture and that man, i mean. haha)

wow. where to start?

took a job as a youth leader at Concord. i'd say it's going great, but... our kick-off party is actually tomorrow! we're going to have a bonfire, complete with hot dogs and s'mores. :) it'll be great, just a fun time to get to know everyone.

having some (extended) family issues. i want to be optimistic without being unrealistic, but i hope they will be resolved very soon. can't go into more detail, just pray for it.

wedding plans are coming along, slowly. talked to a florist (don't need to make an appt til may), need to talk again to the guy we're looking to for our favors... lots of stuff left to do, but it seems to keep falling into place. i'm starting to think we should have scheduled it THIS autumn instead...

should start looking at decorations and such, a friend of dan's got married a few months back and had the same colors, so i need to talk to her about decorations. not much other wedding stuff... trying to make some decisions on save-the-date cards (why does that abbreviate: std??) bc we'd like to have a picture included, but it costs more to do that... hopefully we'll figure out something soon for it.

my great-aunt passed away on tuesday. i don't think i've seen her since i was around 10... she taught us how to crochet and knit and such. aunt foofie. she was 93. i always thought she was so cool. what sucks is that we found out from the obit yesterday. viewing and such is tomorrow, then we've invited the family back here for a wake-type lunch.

anyway, it's just been other random happenings lately. still looking for a job. something i can like doing actually. maybe God's just calling me to youth ministry for a while? i dunno. still trying to figure all that out. applied a few places recently, but haven't heard anything. dan was great helping me redo my resume (more acurately, redoing my resume for me).

... just been pretty stressed out lately. *sigh*

take care of you for me.

salted caramel hot chocolate

so much to say...

first, i got a job, though part-time. dan and i are taking the youth leader position at church. i'm a little anxious about it, but i've come to realize something important. that's what God's calling me to right now. i never wanted to be called into it. He's finally got me there - so something great's going to happen. :)

next, i talked to the lady about the favors we decided on. she said her husband should be able to do it for us, and he'd get the jars, fill them and seal them for us. shouldn't be too expensive, either. also, their daughter has a degree in photography and has done some weddings. i'm hoping to talk to her more, though i have 2 friends willing to do pictures, too. i don't think you can have too many pictures - it only happens once!

i feel like there is so much going on right now, yet can't think of a thing that i wanted to write. i've lost 40 lbs so far. it's really showing lately (not that i haven't noticed til now). clothes that used to be tight are now somewhere between comfortable and way too loose. i used to wear an xl shirt (for most shirts) and i'm wearing m or l's now. not to mention pants... i was wearing jeans 18 or 20 and i'm down to a 14. it's crazy. i mean, it's great! i'm just still getting used to it. i intend to continue losing a little more, to get to a healthy range for my age/height. another 20 or so and i think i'd be at that range - i'll have to check. BUT, that means i'll definitely need my wedding dress altered next year! dan reminded me yesterday, i believe, we were under the 300 days mark! as of today i believe we're at 297!! it's crazy! i can't wait to marry him, he is so wonderful to me.

we've chosen a picture for save the date magnets. we're going to make them ourselves. :) i want to get them out soon, so hopefully really start doing that this week.

oh, and on a random note - i tried a salted caramel hot chocolate (with 2 shots espresso) from starbucks today. it was pretty good. i forgot to ask for no whip cream, though (bc i'm sure the drink itself had way more carbs than i should have been having anyway) so dan was kind enough to suck the whip cream off the top for me. i know, way to take one for the team, schmuv! ;) it was pretty good. dan didn't like it as much but he likes the sweet drinks better. i thought it was quite good. almost tasted like a chocolate covered pretzel or peanuts... but not real sweet at all. just a slight chocolate taste to it.... i dunno. try it. if you like salty, that is. or get a pastry and try it (if you're not diabetic, too) and have the salty-sweet combo. :) yum.

anyway, i'm going to read a bit and go to sleep.

take care of you for me.

giving it up...

i spent today looking for a job and tying up some loose ends with phone calls i meant to return, etc. it felt good to get some stuff crossed off my list, but can't even decide what kind of job i'm even looking for exactly.

however, i'm joining a women's bible study at church, starting this sunday, and i'm so excited! it's based on beth moore's book "the patriarchs" and it has been so incredibly interesting so far (and i'm only on day 2!) i'm excited to see what i learn through december. right now it's about abraham and how he left his home (ur) for canaan, tho he didn't know where he was going, but trusted God would lead him there. today's was about sarah, and how it effected her and how she (likely) didn't want to go. anyway, beth moore ends with a quote from F.B. Meyer that i really liked, and i really felt was for me right now in my situation. it goes like this:

"Thou (God) hast brought me here; and Thou must now bear the whole weight of providing for me and mine: here i will stay till i clearly know what Thou wilt have me to do."

i've given it to God. this whole situation - He led me to this and He has a plan. my job is to have faith that He will lead me to the best He has set aside for me. :)

F.B. Meyer goes on to say:

"Has He not thus brought you into difficulties, that He may have an opportunity of strengthening your faith, by giving some unexampled proof of His power? Wait only on the Lord, trust also in Him... He will provide."

why is 'giving it up to God' so difficult? so many things/times in life we give up responsibility too easily, but when we need to - we grasp so tightly that our knuckles are white. likely, it is those situations that we need to give up to God most. to give complete control and trust He will provide. it's those times that He blesses us overwhelmingly. *sigh* what a great feeling.

i can't wait to see what wonderful things He has planned for me next. :)

take care of you for me.

fired.

okay, just a quick update...

i got fired.

i've never been fired from a job before, but... friday it happened. kinda a long story, but... basically she said "i need someone more flexible, someone who won't give an attitude when asked to stay late." meanwhile she wanted me to stay an extra 4-6 hours (after starting at 630 am the past few days and working til 530. not to mention the numerous days i stayed later than scheduled bc they needed someone to. *rolls eyes* i kept saying that i'd stay even though i was having a bad day anyway, and the "attitude" she was referring to was the third time i was asked to stay late i said, "i can, but i don't want to." that was all i said.

*shrugs* i guess i just wasn't supposed to be there any longer. on to bigger and better things... just don't know what that might mean right now. but, back to the job hunt for me. on the plus side, i've got a ton more clearances and trainings added to my resume.

that's it for now. going to eat dinner with the handsome man who loves me <3 313 more days til i'll officially be mrs. amber brady. i can't wait! :)

take care of you for me.

candlelight dinner at eatnpark <3

wow. what a weekend. i'll just start at the beginning...
saturday. had plans to meet with my friend sara for pictures. cancelled them when i found out dan had gotten free kennywood tickets (that we had to use this weekend) and saturday was going to be our best option.

saturday came and it was rainy with thunderstorms. hung out and played games inside instead and went to church later that evening.


sunday came. beautiful, hot day. went to church & sunday school. figured for *free* k'wood tickets, it was worth the money in gas to just make the drive.
had a FABULOUS time at kennywood - our first time together (yay! have a permenant kennywood ride partner! woo!) only downside was it was pretty hot, and we both had to get up early for work today... oh, and on our way there, we're crossing the bridge to get into the homestead area and there's an accident right next to us on the bridge! we both heard it, but didn't realize what we were hearing at first. 3 cars somehow got squished. on another note, however, i ran into a number of people i knew and (believe it or not) dan didn't see anyone he knew! how odd, huh? it was crazy!

we left k'wood around 8pm. we'd ridden all the rides we really wanted to, and were hungry... and the WIND started. we decided to stop in wexford at the eatnpark on the way home. trees were bending bc of the wind. we (barely) make it inside without getting blown away and get a table. not many people there bc of the steeler game. no sooner do we get our waters that the power goes out! so, we sat and waited some. they offered us soup. that was about all they could offer, it was getting thrown out anyway. (sounds real yummy, huh? haha)

they lit a little votive candle for us and we ate our soup by the candle light. at this point we were the only customers left in the building. we waited some, to see if the wind would die down some, but decided to just head home. there was so much debris, and power-outages everywhere (mom and dad didn't get power back til this morning). it is always so weird when the wind is so strong, but there is no rain... wind is often under-estimated, in my opinion.

we get close to dan's house (my car was there) and there's a big pine tree ripped from the ground - landed on a phone line! thankfully we didn't have to take a detour (there was a parking lot to get around the mess right there) but... wow! dan, his parents and i (and my parents, tho they were sleeping at the time) agreed it was safer for me to just sleep in their guest bedroom than try and drive home. that wind was just crazy strong!

i heard on the radio on my way home this morning (to get ready for work) that between 4 electric companies there were 200,000 people without power bc of the wind! jimmy roach and wendy green on froggy were saying how a lot of people (them included) had to get ready for work in the dark and jimmy said, "i just have to thank God for creating sunlight"... :o) i do, too! not to mention the amazing sunrises (which i see now, when i have to work at 630am) and sunsets...

okay, so super-long blog, lots of stuff to say... brings us to today. work was pretty good. been having an issue with one of the kids who tends to bite other kids, though... i was tired (my legs are still pretty tired) and, i'm off to bed now!

take care of you for me.

updates, updates, updates...

wow. so, okay been pretty busy lately. work's been keeping me out of trouble. got sick last week, still a little sick, but... got dan sick too. :(

went to church saturday night, at oak hill alliance church in cranberry. it was great. they just started doing a saturday night service and we both really enjoyed it. :) there were people our age, the music was great, the sermon was great... and they had snacks before the service started! woo!! i'm sure we'll be going back.

spent most of sunday sick. went to church, dan had a fever, but was there anyway. didn't much care for the guest preacher, though. didn't really agree with some of her theology, and the children's sermon lasted 20 minutes... i tuned her out when she asked the kids about the french war... *rolls eyes* oh well.

spent sunday afternoon at economy park with dan. we got a new blanket the other day at costco so we wanted to lay outside some. bc we were both sick, we ended up napping for much of the afternoon out there, but... it was good. perfect weather for it. just relaxed, talked some, but mostly napped. :)

his parents arrived home safely from nc where they were for a week for a pastor's confrence thingy. they seemed like they had a good time. got to see some family while they were there, too.

however, i have to say, i am most proud of my sunday night. :o) i went shopping. by myself. it was fun. it had been kinda a bad day, but it really helped to pull me out of my mood. i ended the night with 3 shirts, 3 pants and a bathing suit for only $55! sweet, huh?! :o) the pants are sooo comfortable, too. makes me so happy that not only did i get them at such a great bargain, but they are cute and comfy! made my day. i'm sure you're all proud of me, too. haha

haven't done much wedding planning at all. i need to call harmony ridge about our reception (they have us marked down for it, we just need to put a deposit on it) and get moving on some stuff. it's a lot harder to do when you're working so much, though. being sick hasn't helped with it, either.

anyway, that's about it for now.... just wanted to update ya'll.... and tell you about my FABULOUS shopping experience! :o) haha.

take care of you for me.

job, niagra & the BIG church... and BLUEBERRIES!!

wow! okay, lots of random info here...

been a week at the new job. it's been good. there are parts that are hard or that i don't really like. i think that's true with all jobs, though and i'm trying to be patient and learn to like them. one of the hardest is that being diabetic, i need to eat every so often, and well... i have trouble finding a minute to grab something. i can't just walk away from kids to do that (and to eat in front of them they just want whatever it is, of course). so, something i need to work on. also, i'm used to having a little more instruction when i start a new job. it's not related to my major, though i've done a number of activities with youth, generally they're not this young. sometimes i just don't know what to do and the other teachers tend to walk away and do things and leave me in charge of the kids...

on the plus side i was recertified in first aid and had fire safety training yesterday. it went really well. learned some stuff, including the secret to smooth hands. i tried it today and it really did make a difference! i was shocked. i also learned that when doing cpr the numbers changed since i was certified... i still need to get recertified, but now it's 30-2 for everyone regardless of age... didn't know that.

haven't done much wedding planning lately, tho i should get back on that... just been busy this week with work. dan and i have been trying to decide on a honeymoon location, and i think we're in agreement now on niagra falls. just not sure if it will be niagra falls itself or niagra on the lake... either way, up in that vicinity. :o)

so, dan and i have been going to different churches lately on saturday nights. looking for a worship style that really suits us. not necessarily looking to leave concord, but i don't know that we would not-leave if it came down to it. we've talked about it before and still are somewhat undecided. right now it's just a matter of looking for something that really helps us to worship fully. it's been good. the past few weeks we went to chippewa e. free and northway. both good churches, but both BIG churches... of course it's the big churches that have saturday evening services, tho, too. both of them are expanding too, if you can believe that. which is good, but it's easy to get turned off to the big churches like that for a few reasons. a big reason for us, i believe, is that it lacks the fellowship and friendship you feel in a small church like concord (disregarding the fact that a majority of concord are related). people don't realize that you're a visitor unless you tell them at a big church. my first sunday at concord we stuck out like a sore thumb almost.

[on a side note, the first person to shake my hand and welcome my parents and me to concord was john roby - he recently passed away and will be missed by concord.]

this is getting much longer than i anticipated, and well... it's almost 10pm and i have to get up early for church tmw and i'm tired. so i'll make this the last point...

i found i REALLY like blueberries. i used to hate them, but the only time i'd have them they were cooked into dad's pancakes (looove the pancakes, but didn't like hot blueberries). they are just absolutely delicious, though! :o) that makes me happy.

whataday, whataday!

okay, so a quick thing before i go to work today... started yesterday 9-6. it made for a crazy long day, but... good. my tb test was negative, so that was good. also expected, but... still good.

nothing like having a small boy poop in the middle of the play area, though. wow.

i did have one little girl draw me a picture, too. that was cute. another one took home my pages of doodles to show her mom... i'm going to have to be careful what i draw now... lol.

anyway, too much to say, not enough time to type, tho i type pretty fast... gotta get going to work soon. don't want to be late on my second day. i think i'm working with the two year olds today, yesterday was with the 3 and 4 year olds. we'll see how this goes...

sike! now it's foreal...

okay, so i guess you can all disregard the previous post... i was so excited, i was certain it was going to work out. however, i was informed friday that i would not be hired for that position. at least not yet. i was so sure that was where i was supposed to be, but it doesn't look that way. instead, however, i got a call yesterday (monday) with a job offer! such a weird turn of events, but we all know God works in weird ways sometimes. :)

i've accepted the job at a daycare center in cranberry, working in the 2 year old room. :) i'm very excited about it! it wasn't exactly what i was looking for, but it will be a good experience, i believe. (except that they open at 6am, so that might be hard...) i'll definitely keep you updated on that, though. i'll be going in today to get paperwork and start the whole process. i'll have to get a physical and all that, and clearances before i can be with the kids.

in other news, mom and i are going to pick up my wedding dress on friday!! :) very exciting stuff! need to make appts with people to get things planned, still. haha. got the wedding party chosen and all that, so we're getting there. been spending a lot of time looking at reception ideas online, too. going to take some engagement pictures this weekend, i hope, so save the date cards will be going out reletively soon, too! we have officially decided on August 1, 2009 at 10am. it's a little early, but we really like that, and it will work out fine for a lunch reception. :) good for a hot day. so, things are just coming right along with that.

i'm going to go up to geneva on thursday and have lunch with tom, i'm sooo excited!! tom works maintenance there, and he is my 'dad' from geneva. haven't seen him too much, and i can't wait to get caught up with all that's been going on! :) hopefully going to make it to a football practice and see kernal, too. past few times i've been up, he hasn't been around.

everything just seems to be coming together lately. i'm feeling happier, more content with life in general. i can't wait to see what God's got planned :)

a job for me? :) sorta.

so, like i said before, i've been waiting to hear back about a job. i had an interview last monday, the 4th and was expecting a call/email by friday, but... called them on monday and left a message. got a call back tonight and....

i sorta got the job. only sorta, at this point. haha. without getting into too many details: there's a couple positions open, so at this point it's a matter of whether i'd start tuesday or in two weeks. (kinda a long story, and i probably know more than i should) but, he said he was impressed with my qualifications and that i'd be a good fit for the job. sooooo, he said he'd get back to me by thursday night to let me know if it'd be sooner rather than later, essentially.

unfortunately it's not quite official enough to celebrate just yet. it would be the most amazing job, doing something i love to do. it's a chiropractor assistant job, so i'd get to work directly with patients, along with performing some of the rehab type procedures we did in the training room - just with set hours. it's a little family place, which would be a nice change from a hugmongous warehouse like lowes... and i'd get to help people feel better, which is a passion of mine. :) it's not far, about half an hour drive, but it's a simple drive, just through cranberry. i can't think of a negative thing about it. i'm so excited!! :) what a wonderful answer to a long lasting prayer. *sigh*

i got it...

compromise... that's the third C word... compromise.

job, cake, book... good stuff. :)

okay, so i've been waiting to hear back about a potential job before i posted another blog. i called them today bc they were supposed to get back to me by friday, but didn't. so... i'll just have to write another one when i hear back about this job.

in other news... wedding plans are still coming along. i think we're having more trouble on what time of day to get married, than most of the rest of the planning. haha. once we decide that, we've got a reception place to book (they have us penciled in already) but it will dictate what food we serve, so... kinda important! haha

we went to camp this past weekend, westminster highlands, for their 50th celebration. it was a fun day :) tiring, but lots of fun.

i'm looking to make appts with bakers soon to find someone to make our wedding cake. if anyone knows any in the area... i have 2 in mind, just need to set up a time to meet with them and see what they can offer us. and still looking for favor ideas. weddingmountain.com has been good for ideas, and even oriental trading has a decent wedding section for favor ideas... just not sure what to do for them, yet, though.

dan and i went to family christian bookstores yesterday, and i got this really great book... i'm only on chapter 3, but.. i'm very interested in it so far. it's called "confessions from an honest wife" by sarah zacharias davis. based on a bunch of stories from women, it's been enlightening... and it was only $5. haha. i'm a sucker for a good book. i asked dan to buy it for me, i figured for $5, it could help me be more prepared as a wife. :)

we've learned it's all about communication and commitment (there was another C word, and i can't remember it, actually) haha. but those are the biggies... commitment. communication. with those two (and Christ) we will make it. :) it's hard work. but well worth the effort, in my opinion.

"here lies a man who lived life for all that it's worth"

so here it is. it's been two years and yet it feels as if it was just yesterday... or today for that matter. my heart still aches. i don't cry as frequently, though when i'm alone i do. i still think about him every day. i thought that might change, but something reminds me of him daily.

then the whole day runs through my head. memories of when i first heard the news, the instant pain that shot through my body... much like how i assume it feels if one is shot in the heart with a bullet. the sad days that followed, saying goodbye, reliving the story each time i had to repeat what happened. and i think about what he would be doing today, who he'd be as a person and all the events in our lives that he is not here to share with us.

yet i feel as if i've had a heart transplant of sorts. my heart was in so much pain, i felt as if i couldn't use it. this heart that was broken into millions of tiny pieces is being lovingly glued back together by none other but another dan. this is not to say that my fiancee dan is "taking the place of" my brother dan, for we know that cannot happen - no one can take my brother's place. but the love and support from my fiancee dan (i've got to come up with a better way to distinguish between the two...) has been incredibly healing for me. he has shown nothing but understanding and compassion where some might only feel frustrated or confused. my random outbursts into tears because something was said without thinking or a song (usually what it is) reminds me of time spent with dan, and he sits and holds me and cries with me.

seven-hundred and thirty days.... one hundred and four weeks.... two years.... to some it may feel like a lifetime, to some a drop in the ocean. it only takes a second for your life to change dramatically. my best advice is to do what (my brother) dan did... LIVE IT!

am i a game show?

so... talking to dan tonight while we were watching a movie. this old guy was playing chess by himself and i said, "that's my game!" (even tho i'm not very good at it)

and i realized that i'm going from a game (chess) to a tv show (brady)...

so, does that make me a game show?

:)

happy planning :)

i'm determined to keep up with this blog...

as for wedding plans, they're coming along. still doing some research on reception sites, but we did find a place we like. it is reasonably priced, too. also, we've decided that we're going more formal on everything, too. not super formal, but more than the casual jeans idea. i like it, but... we only do this once and i want it to be special. the guys are going to wear chocolate brown tuxes without the jackets with 'pool' vests and ties. dan will wear the same, but with a white vest and pool tie, and the girls can do knee-length "pool" dresses and i will... uh... wear a white gown. we're doing minimal flowers, too. the guys won't have boutineres (bc they won't have their jackets on, anyway) and i'm thinking, if i can find some, i'd like the girls to carry parasols (fancy umbrellas or 'umbies' as roro calls them) and i have a FANTASTIC idea for the centerpieces for the reception, too! i can't wait!

so much planning lately, and so many ideas floating around. it's been great. everything seems to be just falling into place. :) dan knows so many people and that's definitely been helping with the individual things (flowers, photography, etc) i have a david's bridal appt saturday and mom's coming with me! i can't wait for that, too! i'm so glad mom will be there to help. her opinion is important to me. i'm getting more excited and nervous each day. we have just over a year (i know it seems like a long time, but... i know it will fly by!)

:)
i'm so happy.

he completes me <3

hello!

so, i've been planning a wedding lately. i'm kinda stressed already (and i just started). i was reading my devotions this morning and it was talking about how God doesn't necessarily call those who are thoroughly equipped to do a task. that it's a matter of relying on Him to equip you and to guide you and not about YOU doing it yourself.

it got me thinking about how much (or little) i have relied on Him concerning this wedding. Dan and i have been doing devotions lately and we strive to keep God at the center of our relationship, but have we asked Him to be the center of our wedding too?

i felt as if i should be able to plan this whole thing - after all, both my sisters planned their weddings. i need to remember, though, that God has brought us together and He will continue to guide us and strengthen us as we grow together in Him. worry and stress do nothing to help. we will praise God in a thanksgiving service of our wedding, but we also need to glorify Him in this time of planning.

i praise and thank Him every day for Dan <3 i couldn't have imagined a man so perfect for me. you know that cheesy line from 'jerry mcguire' the whole 'you complete me' line? yeah... no matter how cheesy (as some of you have experienced) it's so true. (not that tom cruise completes me, because that's DEFINITELY not true!) but dan does. he was made just for me. like a glove, we fit together... or peanut butter and jelly (yum!)

even so, we've had some differences lately. mostly with some wedding details. and we know that will happen from time to time. but we're working it out. and most importantly - we're praying together. :)